This morning, after we decided to attend All Saints Cathedral, an Anglican Cathedral in Nairobi, we were warmly welcomed by Selline Korir into her home for tea and hospitality even though she had no idea we were coming. Selline began our visit with a prayer and invited us to sit for a cup of tea. After politely chatting for a while in the living room while Selline made the tea, we realized from our own experiences that where women gather is often in the kitchen for real conversation.
While Selline was ensuring the Kenyan Chai tea was boiling on the stove in a pan with milk and sugar, being fueled by the propane tank to the side, she began to tell stories. Out of the corner of our eyes we saw her goddaughter and nieces diligently begin washing the cups and saucers.
Selline shared with us her amazing work with peace and conflict resolution, which sounded to us a great deal like women's empowerment, as we had been told of her work with Rural Women's Peace Link. She was awarded the Mietek Pemper Award in 2014 for "acknowledging outstanding, sustainable, and unconventional achievements in the area of mediating in and solving secular conflicts in politics and society." We were informed later that this was not all this determined, yet humble, woman was involved in.
While wiping spoons, Selline told us about how polygamy has changed in Kenya, noting that we Western women don't understand how it was ever in the culture at all. She told us about her own marriage to her husband and how they intentionally say, "I love you" to one another. This contrasts with the language used in many marriages in Kenya, particularly rural where it is legal to marry several wives (since 2014), where the language is one of a contractual relationship initiated by the man and not a language of love. Selline is intent on teaching these women they have a right to have a voice about and in these marriages.
She explained to us her work with girls whose bodies are exchanged for food and the girls she helps to escape from the perils of FGM (Female Genital Mutilation). She has been instrumental in sheltering and educating girls that ran away from their families to avoid FGM. FGM is a big problem in Kenya, she tells us, shaking her head. Thinking about these girls reminded us of the girls in Gihembe Refugee camp earlier in the week who have also faced these dangers.
Now that we've had a few days to reflect on the plight of people who are refugees, the pain and isolation of displacement, in addition to the threat of violence a woman faces, is still difficult to fully grasp. Even for women who are not refugees life is extremely hard. Most have no voice save that through a man. The household burdens are heavy. Selline told us about her childhood chore of fetching water miles away. The refugee women we met in Gihembe also spoke of having to walk great distances for meager amounts of water.
We were so engrossed in the stories Selline was telling us that we had not noticed the beef stew and potatoes simmering on the stove until the aroma of spices alerted us that a meal had been prepared. In the true hospitality of the Kenyans, a great feast was placed on the table that eleven of us were invited to gather around. Selline's husband, the Reverend Paul Korir, blessed the food and our pilgrimage. A gracious hostess, Selline waited until everyone else had helped themselves before getting her own food. While she is a well-educated and confident woman, her early cultural influences were apparent from time to time.
As we were finishing our meal, Selline spoke with the women pilgrims about her life's work and the challenges she has faced. While most of us find debates on Beyoncé's feminism frustrating, Selline is on a whole other plane. Her frustrations include four death threats, threats of arrest, and overcoming distrust in many villages in Kenya. Selline's incredible faith shone through every story she told. How police were sent to arrest or kill her, but because they found a humble, unadorned woman devoted to God, they could not follow through and instead let her go. She gave glory to God.
A Kenyan meal is not complete without a cup of tea to round it off, Selline's husband informs us as we start to make a move for departure. Selline prepared yet another large kettle of Kenyan tea. This time our fellow pilgrim, Burl, helped serve. This cup of tea led to a conversation with the Rev. Korir, Selline, and all the pilgrims. The Rev. Korir and Selline told the story of their romance and faith journey, which included a few laughs. Rev. Korir pointed out Selline's complete dedication to the Lord through service and faith. It took him six months of patient waiting while she prayed on his proposal. Following God's will was of utmost importance to her. Their union has been a mutually supportive bond between them and it was obvious.
As we cleared the cups and saucers we were sad to see our time with Selline and her family draw to a close. We were impressed and felt enveloped in love by The Korir's hospitality and dedicated faith. We hope they will visit Houston and Washington, DC, so we can return the favor.
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